I am getting pretty annoyed. My husband and I have been fighting for days now. It seems like weeks. It might be. I am not sure. A lot of them are nit picky fights. But this latest one is ridiculous to me. Especially since I feel like I should be the one that is mad and trying to get over it. But let me tell you the story.

The other night, I think it was Friday, my husband wanted to go out dancing. Fine, no problem. But I warned him not to drink. He has a problem. Especially since he is bipolar and isn't supposed to be drinking or drinking with his meds. It really screws him up. Anyway I ended up staying up late. I usually do. I was on the internet and started surfing the porn sections I happen to have on this website. Obviously I was in the mood for sex. I really wanted a woman. I always do. But I will make do with the computer when I have to. Although most of the time I just have to use my imagination.

Anyway my husband comes home a little early. It is like 1:30. I get off of the computer and see him at the door. I ask him if he got bored and he said kind of . I ask him if he has been drinking and he says no. I said thats good because I am in the mood for sex, but I don't want to if you have been drinking. He says no again and then says for me to go get ready. I had been wearing just a tshirt and pyjama pants.

Now the drinking thing is a big deal for me. My father is an alcoholic and a drug addict. I drank too much when I was a teenager. I had a boyfriend, before my husband, that was an alcoholic. Get the picture. I don't want it in my life.

So anyway we both get ready for sex. He goes downstairs to put on some cologne. I go upstairs to start lighting candles and put on some music. I change into a green silk nightgown. That kind of thing. We get into bed and I ask him to give me a back rub. My neck and shoulders were killing me. Then he flips me over and rubs my chest. I love it. He tells me this fantastic story of me getting together with one of the women from the burlesque show. We are having a good time and we are having sex. He leans in to kiss me and now I can smell the alcohol. I complain that he lied to me and that I wouldn't have had sex otherwise. But I am so close to cumming that I don't want to stop just yet. So I cum. Then I tell him to get off of me and that we need to talk. He lied to me and that isn't cool. I didn't want to have sex with him if he had been drinking. He gets pissed off and says this isn't love. He takes his clothes and storms out and sleeps in the basement. He tells me that he is going to stop talking to me and that I will never have sex with him again.

I am a little angry. But not as much as he is. I wanted to talk about things and possibly even let him finish. But he didn't want to hear it.

So here it is days later and we are still playing these little games. I keep trying to get over it. I wake up and I am fine. He goes to work and I am fine. He comes home and he still hates me. He refuses to talk about it civily. He just keeps not talking to me unless it is a snide remark about whatever. I DO NOT LIKE BEING TREATED THIS WAY!!! Especially since I should be the one that is angry about him drinking. We have had this discussion many times over the last few years.

He even told me to ask my friends to see how fucked up the situation is. That they would tell me that I was being a bitch. So of course I asked them. My girlfriends think I am right. And I understand that he is hurt and angry that I would stop having sex only after I got off, because I was pissed with him. But come on. This isn't the first time we quit in the middle of sex. Of course those times were more about it being painful for me. And there have been times over the years that he got off before me and I couldn't finish. Nothing is perfect.

WTF????!!!

I don't know what to do at this point. I am getting more pissed off each day. I am trying not to. I try to let it go. Then he brings it up again. Or tries to pick a fight. It is possible that he is at the beginning of an episode. But that doesn't give him the right to be an asshole or treat me like dirt.

See you in the moonlight.