Sluggish Love Life

I know that it has been a very long time since I have posted anything. But there really hasn't been anything to write about. I haven't even been looking for porn much. Only very limited and sporadic. So I didn't know what to put down. Sure I have been collecting more photos to post. But sometimes it takes forever to publish them. So I have been a little lazy where this blog has been concerned. I have also been more interested in loftier pursuits. More spiritual in nature.

But I have also been feeling neglected in the romance department as well. My husband and I seem to be on very different pages. When he wants to have sex, I don't and when I do, he doesn't. Or something major comes up in my life. Plus there were a couple of weekends when I just wasn't home. And of course it can be a little difficult with a 3 year old always wanting attention. So poor me.

But I know you just want to hear the juicy stuff. The dreams, the nasty thoughts, the fantasies. I am of course still mostly thinking about women. I don't fantasize about men when I want to get off. And my husband is o.k with that. So much so that he got me a lesbian film to watch. But there wasn't really much of anything lesbian in it. It was more a flirtation for bicurious women. So then he went out and got me another movie. This one was basically bad soft porn. I would have preferred that it was actual porn since the plot sucked and really took you no where. So I didn't even watch the whole thing. And the movies that he was willing to get me that were about actual lesbian relationships, Blockbuster doesn't carry them. But oh well. So that pretty much brings us up to date. Sorry to disappoint.

I did however get an email from this chick I "met" through an online lesbian dating service. But she is always out of town on business. So hopefully we will actually get to meet up in real life soon. Her pic is very hot. She has shoulder length wavy blonde hair and is about average size. I can't tell what color her eyes are or anything. But she is cute.

I do think about her. I think about calling her up when she comes home and having her come over. Basically she shows up in a trench coat with little else on. She takes it off and we go upstairs. I grab her breast and cover it with my mouth and suck on her nipple. Then she tells me that she brought some toys. Wonderful I say. She has a strap on and does me from behind. And for me that is about all it takes for me to get off.

See you in the moonlight.

My aunt sent this to me and I thought it was funny and deserved to posted.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -

She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -

She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -

She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -

She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -

She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -

She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -

She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -

She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -

She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" -

She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -

She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -

She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -

He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -

He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -

He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4 He is not "BALDING" -

He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -

He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -

He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -

He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -

He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -

He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" -

He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -

It's "REAR CLEAVAGE